Dear MS1s,
This is Rebekah, an MS2 (!) from Korea and Virginia. I’m writing to you to pass on some practical tips I wish I had known earlier when I was an MS1 navigating the cancer diagnosis and death of a parent during the first year of medical school. Granted, I have a very limited vantage point as one individual, and some of my lessons learned might have to be realized experientially. I do not intend for this guide to serve as a solution to grief but rather as a tool that could aid in the process. I hope you’ll never have to pull this out of your back pocket in the coming year, but here you go just in case. None of this is official advice, and I’m not representing PSOM’s perspective. Please defer to resources given to you by faculty and staff first.
1. CAPS walk-in counseling hours
There might be some delays in scheduling an initial appointment with a counselor at Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). Rather than waiting for a month like I did, you can drop-in and meet with a clinician during regular business hours on 3625 Market St. This is a 15-minute walk from JMEC, and you can get work done in a free coworking space called Quorum nearby if needed (3675 Market St). More details here: https://caps.wellness.upenn.edu/
CAPS also has a support group for grieving students (https://caps.wellness.upenn.edu/livingwithloss/).
It’s okay not to get matched with a PSOM-specific counselor, and I know friends who have sought out counselors outside of CAPS, and this has worked out well for them as well.
2. Odds are, you’re probably not alone. Consider letting others in, especially your learning team.
First day of anatomy might be a bit jarring for everyone, as it is as close to death and dying as you can get. I wish I had known there are more people confronting their experiences with loss that day. Friends, who I would have never guessed were just as overwhelmed as me, confided months later how distraught they had been. If we had only known, we might have felt less alone and could have supported each other right then.
One of the best things I ever did was to let my learning team know. You’ll see your learning team almost every day, and your team members might appreciate a heads-up on what you need, as a teammate and as a friend. Whether that be hugs, food, space, or a listening ear, you might be pleasantly surprised. Together, you can brainstorm how best to survive tough spots and work together, even through those insufferable QR codes. 😉
In order to lean into my support networks from before medical school, I used times during walks or chores to call friends and family. A few of my close friends and I would set a time each week to phone each other, and I would be meal prepping or cleaning the apartment during those calls. I personally found it particularly helpful to set a routine and put it into my calendar so I can stay accountable to people I loved and cared about, especially when life was rocky.
3. Heads-up on tougher blocks: Your well-being matters more
Disclaimer: People have different learning styles and life experiences, so the blocks I found challenging might not be challenging for you.
Anatomy: Not only did I find the memorization difficult, but I also found the process of dissection to be not the most palatable experience in the world. There might also be some disease states and pathophysiology mentioned during scripts that could remind you of an illness of a loved one (In each anatomy “script,” TAs would walk you through some questions and answers in front of a cadaver). It’s okay to slip out of certain jarring situations if it hits too close to home. We are adults and do not need to ask for permission to go to the restroom. There are bathrooms on almost all floors of Stemmler, and there are stairways in the hallway. There is a park called BioPond nearby (5-minute walk from Stemmler) if you want to take a walk to process. Anki will always be there for you afterwards, and you can always come back during reviews.
Cancer Biology: The content is relatively straightforward, but this is a week before Thanksgiving when a good deal of you might feel burnt out. Depending on who you’ll see (and can’t see) and what you’re anticipating the holidays to look like, your experiences will vary. When it came to learning about cancer, I was personally wrestling with how to wear multiple hats well—the daughter hat and the student hat. I’m so glad I decided to request a 30-minute phone call with my dad’s oncologist to learn about the diagnosis and prognosis and to get their perspective on practicing medicine and wearing different hats. There is a certain level of professional courtesy available to us as medical students, so you could consider picking the brains of various professors and physicians (who are not formal counselors by the way—therapy is great! See tip #1). Dr. Brian Keith is an excellent lecturer and also a wonderful human being, and his dedication to the subject matter as well as his students shines through in this block. Please don’t worry about the exam (there will be no surprises), and consider experimenting with leaving all of your work in your JMEC locker so you can truly relax at home.
Brain & Behavior: Localizing the lesion is no joke. This is when I was genuinely afraid of not passing (of course, you might coast through this block—again, n-of-1). I found it helpful to draw out and color in the spinal cord pathways, consult First Aid graphics, and watch Osmosis videos (https://www.osmosis.org/auth/penn/ gets you free access). Tutors are also available. You can also consider formal accommodations. Your advisory dean is probably a good first bet to chat about various options. Dr. Jennifer Kogan is a gem of PSOM, gets it, and greatly cares about the well-being of students.
4. It’s okay to not participate in any extracurriculars first semester
I wish someone had affirmed how hard it is to “just pass” sometimes. Being in survival mode is okay. Not signing up for any extracurriculars is okay. The winter is when the leadership transition begins anyway, so there is no need to frantically sign up for anything and everything during the first week of school. I didn’t sign up for anything during the first semester, and I appreciated the breathing room very much. If something genuinely interests you, however, go for it by all means!
If you want to chat offline, feel free to email me. I’m not a formal counselor, but if you want a perspective or a listening ear, I’m all ears. Welcome to PSOM, and I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Rebekah
Rebekah Chun is an MS2 at the Perelman School of Medicine.
