Clerkship Year is our first step into the reality of healthcare. We start as wanna-be shadowers and quickly progress to frontline providers. Patients begin to see us as doctors, the doctors begin to see us as their peers, and eventually we begin to see ourselves that way too. We become “a part of the club” fairly quickly: venturing behind badge-access doors, only to peek behind the iron curtain of healthcare and find ourselves actively playing a role. We play parts that we expected and were excited for: caring for others at their most vulnerable moments and creating genuine connections when needed most. But we also play a part in the failures of our healthcare system. We witness the burnout of residents and attendings and the type of care that comes with it, only to cross our fingers and hope the same doesn’t happen to us. I took these photos at Pennsylvania Hospital to try and capture the scenes where it is so apparent we are being granted access into this world, and all of the good and bad that comes with it. Our hands have guided babies into this world as they took their first breath, but our hands have also massaged hearts and pumped chests in desperate attempts to breathe back life. We’re not only seeing medicine from the inside out for the first time, but we are living it. No matter how many double-gloves we wear or scrub sets we change, we are forever exposed to the harsh realities of life and death. There are no limitations to the amount of good we can do, but in the same vein, there are no limitations to the amount of suffering we will witness. All we can do is take solace in our shared experience of finally understanding what it means to become a doctor.
Jenelle Safadi is an MS3 at the Perelman School of Medicine.
